JESSE'S JOURNALS
by Ann3
Summary: Jesse's first, highly eventful year at Community General...


JESSE'S JOURNALS

Written by Ann Rivers ann.rivers@virgin.net

Completed 7 November 2001

Summary: An eventful year at Community General, as seen through the eyes of our favourite intern.

Spoilers: Rather than listing all the episodes, and to save space, I'll just say all of season three.

Apart from a dated cheque which gave an approximate date for The Pressure to Murder,

all of the others I've used are purely guesswork on my part. 

If anyone knows the correct fictional dates for any of these episodes, please let me know !! 

Disclaimer: Diagnosis Murder and its characters belong to CBS and Viacom.

I'm not making any profit from their use here… honest !!

10 February 1995

Well, here I am in Venice, LA – new place too, handily close to where I've been assigned as an intern. 

Boy, you'd think after all the times I've had to do this, I'd have this moving thing figured out. 

But no, those boxes just keep on multiplying…

And yeah, so I had to push the bug here more than I got to drive it, but… well, at least I'm here.

And hey, what a place ! I mean, this city just rocks – with or without earthquakes.

Sun, sea, surf and girls. Oh yeah, I'm having the time of my life here…!

Tomorrow I start my internship at Community General… hopefully I'll get my residency there too.

Before that, though, it'll be more studying, double shifts… my first real shot at being a doctor.

So little chance then for much in the way of sleep. Guess the same's gonna go for dating or parties.

Not much time for decorating either, which given the freaky state of my new apartment…

Either this Karen Valentine was seriously weird, or she was the world's worst romantic… 

I mean, she even has hearts in the bathroom…! Like I said – weird…

Speaking of weird, I've been doing some checking up on this Mark Sloan from Community General, the guy who'll be supervising my internship. 

Rumour has it that he roller blades through his ward rounds and gives his lectures in rap ! Cool !

I'm meeting him tomorrow with the rest of the new interns, so I'll get more idea of him then.

Maybe I'll take some of my country tapes along– if I can ever find them in all these boxes…

Guess I should really get some of this stuff unpacked, but… well, not tonight.

Yeah, it's a big day for me tomorrow, one I should hardly be late for, so I'd better turn in, and...

Hey, for a second hand bed, this thing is real comfy…

11 February 1995

Oh boy, this guy is just great ! Older than I'd expected and nutty as a fruitcake, but still great with it – and he even seemed cool with Billy Ray Cyrus !!

And when he said he wanted to train me personally… well, I have to admit I was pretty surprised…

I think I must remind him of someone – maybe someone he taught in the past, before he had me. 

He kept getting this strange look on his face, a kinda distant smile whenever I asked him something. Guess I was asking too many questions, but… well, he didn't seem to mind whatever I asked him.

And he didn't even chew me out when I had that slight… uh… mishap in the supply room.

Just kept smiling at me and shaking his head.

Still, at least he didn't pat me on mine… jeez, I had enough of that in college and med school…

as if looking like a twelve year old isn't bad enough, the last thing I want is to be treated like one…

Still, like I say, Doc Sloan seems okay with just taking me as I am, which is fine with me.

Maybe I can ask Amanda what that weird look is all about – she seems pretty tight with him.

She's great too – and real pretty. I'm sure my head wasn't the only one that turned when she went by. Strange to think she spends all day with dead people when she could be up on a catwalk somewhere. Still, she seems to enjoy what she does, however icky it must be, and she's real good at it too. 

Must be, to have made chief pathologist so soon after her residency.

Oh, and Doc Sloan's got a son, too – even taller than his dad, and a homicide cop at that. 

And boy, do I ever wish I was as tight with my dad as Steve is with his. I mean, they even live together ! And here's me who couldn't wait to leave the nest and fly out of Elgin…

Still, all that aside, they're all real nice people, and they treat Amanda like one of the family.

Maybe in time they'll feel that way about me, especially since Doc Sloan and I've really hit it off.

Must have been that country rap thing we did together over lunch.

Yeah, this guy is just totally nuts. We should get along together just fine…

10 May 1995

Wow, these last few days have been real eye openers ! First I find out Doc Sloan works with the LAPD, then I got to help him and Steve on a real live murder case. Or should that be real dead murder case ??

Anyway, it was incredible ! This kid not much younger than me killed her father to get her inheritance. And if that wasn't unbelievable enough, she then tried to frame her own mom as the murderer !!

But Doc Sloan soon had her figured out – me too, I think. I mean, okay, so I got a bit carried away…

and maybe he didn't need to know all that stuff about subjects and bikinis and sunscreens, but… 

well, it's how those private eyes do it on TV… and they always make it sound so cool…

Oh, and I was right – I do remind him of somebody… himself !! That's really neat…

So is the stuff in his study – it's like Aladdin's Cave, with all kinds of weird antiques and collectables.

Just got to remember not to touch any of it… or if I do, to try and watch where all the parts go…

Got a long shift tomorrow, so I'd better turn in and get some sleep while I can.

Hey, I wonder if helping the doc out with these murders is gonna become a regular thing…?

24 May 1995

Helped Steve nail a credit card fraud ! Well, okay, I wasn't allowed to be in on the stakeout as such 

( no idea why Steve wouldn't let me), but I was there when he found the evidence.

Funny, you'd think he'd admire my initiative in getting that extra key - instead he nearly shoots me !

Wish he'd let me in on that stakeout, though – jeez, he made me feel like I'd been grounded.

Still, he's great to be around anyway, even if he does treat me like some annoying little brother.

Not that I'd know, since I'm an only child, but… hey, no, as if I'm anything like that…

Doc Sloan had a lot on his plate too, what with taking care of little Blair and her brother and all.

God, how anyone can hit their own kids and pretty much kill their own wife is just beyond me.

But Doc Sloan still managed to reach her, gaining her trust where no one else, not even me, could. Man, that guy is like a professional father to everybody. Wonder if he'll do the same for me…

Oh, and I got to save Amanda's life today. Not that she's gained any excess weight because of it, 

but I never realised a pregnant woman could be so heavy ! That baby's gonna be a bouncer, for sure.

Still, the most important thing is they're both okay. More than can be said for my ribs…

Speaking of which… yep, they're done… now, where'd I put that barbecue sauce…?

8 June 1995

Whoa, that was one hell of a first ! Well, not solving the murder, I'm getting pretty used to that, but…

well, where we thought at first that the victim was a she, it turned out to be a he…!

All I can say is, that autopsy sure opened my eyes – in more ways than one ! Just amazing !

Seemed the girl she – I mean, he – dated when he was a he couldn't accept what she – I mean, he – had done to make him a her. Gee, I hope that reads okay…

Boy, after setting that lot straight, I need a drink. Not to mention somewhere to stow my surfboard.

I can't believe my board could get me in so much trouble with Mr Briggs, the hospital administrator. 

As if one itty bitty surfboard constitutes a beach club. I tell you, that guy really needs to loosen up.

Still, I knew I could rely on Doc Sloan to help me out – and what a neat way to keep my board cool !

Just gotta figure out how to swing that with Amanda…

To show how grateful I was, I helped the doc solve Vicky Fox's murder. Just got to try and remember his advice about not being quite so enthusiastic, and to treat crime scenes like exploratory surgery…

Speaking of gratitude, or lack of it, I put Steve straight on how Vicky hadn't died in a surfing accident, and how does he thank me ? Sends me for coffee and donuts ! Still, I had the last laugh. And his donut… 

Yeah, I learned a lot today. Keep my hands in my pockets in a crime scene. Not to eat Steve's donuts.

And to keep my head down when Leo's casting his line…

24 June 1995

Oh boy, just when I think I'd seen it all ! First transsexual Marines, now murderous DA's !!

Needless to say, Doc Sloan was right there in the thick of it, serving as a juror on this real big case. Who'd ever think that jury service could be so… well, dangerous ? Not to mention deadly.

Then again, I'm learning with Doc Sloan around, anything's possible.

And who'd ever think just a little drop of mercury could nail such a cunning killer ?

Boy, nothing gets past this guy ! Just hope I'm still as sharp and on the ball when I'm his age…

Speaking of which, I got to learn quite a bit about placebos during Amanda's class today.

They were supposedly a course of testosterone patches to help older men with things like improving their co-ordination and muscle tone and… well, other things that older guys tend to worry about…

Jeez, if I'm going to be a doctor, I've really got to get used to all this birds and bees stuff…

And okay, so they were just sugar pills, but I could have done with a real testosterone patch myself, after running up and down all those stairs for Doc Sloan. 

Yeah, I have really got to get myself into better physical shape. Or just shape, period…

That's gonna be pretty hard, though, especially with the doc's great home cooking.

This is getting to be quite a regular thing, all meeting up at the doc's to have a meal together.

I get the feeling Amanda's used to it, but I have to admit it's a surprise to be asked over too.

I mean, I have to remember that Doc Sloan is my supervisor over my career above everything else. 

I just hope the other interns won't start to think that I'm getting any kind of preferential treatment.

Maybe he thinks that with me being so far away from home, I might be feeling a bit homesick.

Guess he's not to know that I've been here in LA for the last six years – or why I came out here.

Maybe when I've got to know him a little better, I'll put him straight about that.

Funny, I know I can talk to him about pretty much anything, especially on my work and career, but… well, I don't pry into his personal life, or Steve's, and I guess they know not to ask much about mine. 

It's not that they don't care about me, or want to get to know me, because I know that they do, but… 

I guess I just like to keep my personal life… well, personal.

Still, it was real good of him to do that barbecue for me, just so I'd feel like I was back in Elgin.

And he had the idea for the burgers just right – good and greasy, just the way they should be.

Well, okay, so they ended up like burger briquettes, but it's the thought that counts.

The other funny thing is, I think of LA as my home now. I just feel so comfortable and free here.

And thanks to the Sloans and Amanda, I really am starting to feel like part of the family too - 

even if Steve does still treat me like some dumb kid brother.

I mean, I was only suggesting I could help follow up that lead he had in the Korean Market.

Still, I was sure glad to see him turn up when things threatened to turn nasty down there – 

even if he did give me one almighty chewing out on the way home.

Still, I guess that's just his way. And I have to admit it's kinda neat that he looks out for me.

I've always wanted to have a big brother. I guess Steve's the closest I'll ever get to having one…

Boy, just seen how much I've written ! Guess I'm really getting into this journal thing…

No, the thing I should really be getting into is my bed. My poor little legs are just about killing me… 

Jeez, I can't believe I wrote that…

1 July 1995

Kinda got to break the law this week – and boy, what a week !

Doc Sloan got taken hostage by a gunman, I near bust my guts to rescue him, and was he grateful…?

No, he somehow persuades me to jump off a moving train…

Hm, just as well that I'm getting into keeping this journal. Gonna need quite a few pages for this…!

Guess I'd better start at the beginning. A very good place to start, as someone once said…

Basically this George Karn fellow was framed and convicted for the death of his wife.

Desperate to prove his innocence, he took Doc Sloan hostage and then both went on the run.

I guess if I was framed for killing someone, I'd be pretty desperate to prove my innocence too...

Doc Sloan thought the same thing. Not even being held at gunpoint can stop this guy helping people !

Anyway, after chasing him round most of LA (what an experience that was), I finally catch them up – though how the doc failed to notice me coughing my lungs up on that bus is just beyond me.

Hell, everyone else did…!

Yeah, if these good folks of LA are anything to go by, I'm definitely gonna have to get a cellphone… not to mention new tyres for the bug… and a new transmission cable for the doc…

Okay, where was I…? Oh yeah, so I managed to follow them onto this outbound freight train, and…

well, I guess I did go kinda crazy with hitting the guy, but… hell, he had a gun on the doc, and I had…

nothing but my bare hands and a white coat…

Oh boy, I need a drink ! A _very_ stiff drink !!

Okay, so in all the excitement I give the guy a tension pneumothorax. But then I got to save his life !

I got to save my first patient – then right after that, I got to play Doc Sloan's tuck and roll.

You know, if the doc does like me, he's sure got a funny way of showing it !

Still, I finally got to make that call for help, so Steve and Amanda at least knew we were both safe.

But to save me any more rides in big smelly trucks, I've definitely got to get me a cellphone.

Should maybe get myself some workout tapes too, while I'm at it.

Boy, all those fitness and aerobic shows on TV make it look so much easier than it actually is !

Maybe Doc Sloan was right about me getting a bit puffy. Funny, all my clothes still fit okay…

Still, I got to meet some real attractive women – and even picked up a few of their phone numbers.

Might be worth joining that gym for real…

Speaking of real, I think Norman's idea of what's real and what isn't is way apart from anyone else's.

And I do mean, _way_ apart…!

Don't ask me how, but he'd convinced himself one of our patient's relatives was doing voodoo on him. Crazy, I know, although I've got to admit sticking pins into a Norman doll does hold a certain appeal…

Maybe he'd be interested in all that insurance stuff that I picked up from Mr Alfredson.

I mean, it was nice of him to say those things about my smile and all, but I don't want him exploiting it.

Well, not unless he pays me, at least… for floss costs, if nothing else…

And maybe Norman should pair up with that moron Delaney… how the hell did he make lieutenant…? 

I mean, arresting Doc Sloan like that was just totally nuts ! Legal, maybe, but still totally nuts.

I don't think I've ever met a guy more narrow minded and ignorant of just plain common sense.

Yep, he and Norman should definitely get together…

Yes, I was right over needing those extra pages… on the third already, and still not reached the best bit.

I gave Doc Sloan the final clue over Margie Karn's real killer.

Okay, so that thing I said over hairpieces was a fluke, but… hey, in crimefighting, even those count…!

And I seem to be picking up a real knack for coming up with them too – must be all this time that I'm spending with Steve and the doc.

Best of all, it got George Karn cleared of his wife's murder, so at last he was a free man.

I guess what he said as he left us was right. We did save his life, in more ways than one…

Doc Sloan was right too. Whether in a hospital or a train carriage, it is one hell of a good feeling…

24 July 1995

Whoa, I never realised how tough it must be to have a cop in the family – well, not until now.

Okay, so Steve and his dad aren't my family, but… well, it's hard for me to think of them otherwise.

In their own different ways, they've allowed me into their lives with such generosity and warmth…

to be honest, it's kinda hard for me to get used to the idea of being part of such a close relationship, 

to the point of my wondering what I'd do if anything happened to either…

And if I feel this way as just a friend, God only knows how Doc Sloan felt with that cop killer at large.

Maybe that's why it took him kinda longer than usual to figure out that Steve was dating the killer…!

To think I actually saw her, and talked to her at Steve's place… even if I wasn't meant to.

And God, she nearly got him, too… and twice, at that…! Thank God she had such a distinctive perfume.

I guess old Leo was right about how your other senses sharpen up when one of them is lost…

I mean, for Steve to take her down like that when he couldn't even see is… well, really something.

Wonder if Leo could give me some tips on how to avoid Norman before he collars me.

I mean, it was great that Doc Sloan got the Sapperstein award, but… I just hate those dressy functions.

It's okay for the doc, he looked real distinguished in his tux, he can carry that kind of thing off… 

I just looked like a trainee waiter…

Still, one good thing about him being so tall… I can hide behind him whenever Norman's around…

14 August 1995

Boy, it'll be a long time before I volunteer to do a triple shift… as if doubles aren't tough enough.

Witnessed a murder, but no one believed me… not even Amanda, or Doc Sloan.

Everyone thought I was seeing things, just 'cos I hadn't had any sleep for over forty eight hours.

I mean, okay, so every time I tried to show them the body, it kept disappearing and all, but…

well, yeah, I guess I can see their point…

Anyway, thanks to Doc Sloan, it all got straightened out in the end – at least, I think it did.

And me…? Well, I got knocked out by a car, threatened by who I still think were the bad guys,

and Mickey Finned by none other than the doc… I tell you, the next time he gives me an aspirin,

I'm gonna check the bottle first…

Too tired and sore to write any more, so I'm gonna turn in now and catch up on some shut eye… 

and if Steve calls me Dorothy just once more, I'll knock him out myself and post him to Kansas…

16 September 1995

Amanda lost her cousin this week – and in finding his killer, I lost one of my personal heroes.

Nathan Harding, one of the best cardiac surgeons in the country… but not any more…

And all because his son was never going to make the grade as a doctor.

Still, I had to admire Amanda for helping Doc Sloan out at after such a terrible, personal loss.

She has such strength, such determination… and boy, can she ever hit those Bongo drums…!

Yeah, that jam session was really fun – good for Amanda too, after losing her cousin like that.

She was on drums, Doc Sloan had the keyboards, and there was little country boy me on guitar…

And I did not miss that last note… the button on my sleeve must've caught the string…

Mind you, that wasn't the only thing I caught that day… I got to catch a rugby ball too, 

closely followed by an entire rugby team. Jeez, when I told Mark I wanted to try rugby,

I meant as a player, not the ball. And as my knee keeps telling me, those guys play rough…!

No wonder they'd never heard of the Oldenburg Award. Most of them hadn't heard of rules either…

Yeah, I think Doc Sloan had a point – golf's got to be less dangerous, unless you get hit by a club…

Now all I have to do is get some more plaid for my wardrobe…

25 September 1995

Got to see a whole new side of LA these last few days – one I knew had always existed, but… 

well, I just never realised how desperate that side was until I saw it myself.

Even now I can't believe that a clinic set up to help the homeless could kill the so very desperate people they were meant to protect and to treat. All to supply human organs to the highest bidder…

How sick and amoral can people get in this town…?

I don't think Doc Sloan could quite believe it either – and he's been here far longer than me.

I guess that's why he persuaded Walter to… well, show him what life on the street is really like… 

I don't think there was any other way for him to find out who had killed Patsy, and Kevin Lewis.

Both of them nearly got killed themselves in the process, but… well, for all that, it worked.

The doc and Steve managed to flush out Cheryl Dante and Les Coleman as the killers.

As usual I got involved too, but… I just couldn't find the enthusiasm for it that I normally do.

Seeing people suffer such hardship through little or no fault of their own has just shaken me.

I've learned a hell of a lot about human character this last week – how good and bad it can be…

And how it's often the poorest and most desperate of people who have most courage in adversity… how they face the most debasing of circumstances with the greatest of dignity.

I just wish I could have done more than help just one mother and son, out of so many others.

Looking back, I think I'm starting to realise why they reacted to me with such suspicion at first – 

they weren't resenting my offer of help, they just weren't used to anyone bothering enough to try.

If only some of my old toys and clothes could make more of a difference in their lives…

Not sure if I'm breaking any terms of my internship with helping out down there in my spare time.

There shouldn't be, of course, but you can never tell with a natural born bureaucrat like Norman…

So no, I think I'll just keep this little secret medical practice to myself for the time being… 

and if everyone else thinks I'm surfing instead, then… well, I won't mind that either…

For now, though, I'd be happy just to get back to sleep… just not so sure that I will…

10 October 1995

Didn't really get that involved with Doc Sloan's latest case, although I did get a free meal out of it.

Just as well really – I mean, I'm up in enough debt as it is, without shelling out over thirty bucks just for egg foo yung. Jeez, for that money I'd want an entire meal out of it, including dessert and cookies. 

Still, the day wasn't all bad. I got to follow up another lead with Steve, even if all we found was a body. Jennifer Stratton. Or rather who we all took to be Jennifer Stratton, but who turned out to be her twin.

And if I do say so myself, if not for my helpful info on twins and Doc Sloan's powers of observation, she'd have gotten away with killing both her husband and her own sister.

On a lighter note – and one that Norman won't hit in a hundred years – I saw a whole new side to Mr B.

He was actually loosening up a little and letting his hair down for once, which was good. 

Practising for the lead in some opera, which was… well, not so good…

Yeah, he should stick to what he's good at. Paperwork. Bureaucracy. Counting tongue depressors.

And making life hell for this poor, long suffering intern…

22 October 1995

Wow, talk about a murder being close to home ! Not like last time with Steve, but at the hospital.

One of our own surgeons, with one of Doc Sloan's old friends as the main suspect…

Needless to say, we all chipped in to help him prove otherwise. And boy, the surprises we found…!

Who'd have guessed that the ice queen of surgery would have such a hot secret life…?

Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by its cover…

For my part, I got to go clubbing in the search for clues, which nearly cost me six months salary. 

I also got to make a house call, which nearly cost me my face. And since everyone says how cute I am… well, needless to say I'd kinda like to stay that way… 

Oh, and I got to meet some Federal Marshals, which nearly cost me both my looks and my life.

Good thing Steve came by with his badge, or else I'd still be trying to explain what I was doing snooping around that warehouse.

Amanda had a close call too, when she got trapped by the real killer. A real close call.

Thank God Mark and Steve got to her in time, especially with her being so close to term with the baby. 

Just hope that Amanda lets me help the doc with the delivery, whenever the time comes.

My first one, too… boy, what an experience that'd be…!

28 October 1995

Oh boy, what a day ! What an amazing, incredible, unbelievable day ! Wow, I delivered my first baby !

And not just anyone's baby, but Amanda's baby…! What a totally mind blowing experience !!

And okay, so the back seat of the bug needs a good scrub and new covers, but… oh hell, who cares…?

I delivered my first baby…!

Luckily I had my cellphone handy, so Mark could talk and guide me through this amazing experience…

And yeah, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still totally freaked out when I realised what I had to do.

Well, who wouldn't…? 

I guess Amanda was pretty freaked out too, since she kept insulting me and telling me what to do…

I mean, I knew I'd have to look down there at some point, but… well, it was my first time, and…

well, even though I know her pretty well now, to have to feel around down there was kinda intimate…

Funny, she'd insulted me all through labour, too… and I can't even say it was the meds talking…

Still, she's just fine now – and she's even honoured me by naming the baby after me…!

Well, the second name anyway – and it's still one hell of an honour. 

Colin Jesse Livingston, though I still think C Jesse Livingston sounds a lot better.

Once Amanda's had a few more days rest, I'll try again to convince her how distinguished that sounds. 

But however that little guy's going to be known, I'll remember today for the rest of my life.

Oh wow, it was just so incredible…! And I can't believe it happened so fast and so suddenly…!

One minute I was driving Amanda home, the next I had this whole new life cradled in my arms.

This tiny, perfect, miraculous new life just lying there, staring up at me with these huge, huge eyes.

Jeez, I'm getting all choked up again just thinking about it. And I know Amanda's pretty choked too.

Hell, we all are – even though Mark and Steve weren't there to share in it, as they'd both wanted to be.

But most importantly, Amanda's going to be okay, and we have a new member in this wonderful family.

And one thing's for sure – she'll never be short of babysitters as the little fella gets older.

I know for a fact that his godfather and namesake can't wait to dive in with the talc and diapers…

Not so sure about Steve… something tells me he's a little nervous around newborn babies…

Funny, he can confront armed criminals without batting an eyelid, but confront him with a baby, and… well, anyone would think he was holding a sack of dynamite…

Oh, and while there's room on the page, Doc Sloan solved a murder. Again…

4 November 1995

Boy, just when I think this town can't get any weirder – yep, you've guessed. It gets weirder…

This nut of a doctor actually killed someone for Mark. I mean, not like Mark asked him to or anything, but as some kind of sick and twisted favour.

As if that wasn't bad enough, and worrying enough for both Mark and Steve, some moron from the Delaney School of Detectives thought Mark was the killer…!

How this jerk got through the academy is a mystery that I don't think even the doc could figure out.

So it was up to us to show the idiot how it should be done.

Course, the first thing we had to do was find the evidence to clear Mark and prove his innocence.

That meant I finally got to work with Steve on a stakeout, which was really neat.

I'm getting to be a real natural with all this police work – right down to the coffee and donuts.

And boy, is he ever possessive over his donuts…! Jeez, I only had a couple, and they were stale too, whereas that chicken leg from Mark's fridge… well, Steve never gave me the chance to find out… 

guess it's all part of some secret police code… or it could just be Steve's warped idea of payback, but… well, I'm a growing boy and I need my nourishment…

Speaking of which, I'm getting kinda peckish again… at least Steve can't hijack what's in _my_ fridge… 

15 November 1995

I don't know about Doc Sloan or Amanda helping me out with my latest date – for a while there,

I could have done with Mulder and Scully…

No, scrub that – I'm not being fair on either Mark or Amanda. I mean, while Steve had his doubts, 

the doc kept telling me to trust my instincts. 

So I did, and… well, did it ever pay off…! I'm seeing Kristie again tomorrow night for dinner.

Looking back, I guess I can see Steve's point of view. And of course, he was only trying to protect me…

I have to admit, her past criminal record was a shock, and… well, so was the psychic thing…

See, Kristie saw the murder of this guy she worked with… just not with her eyes but her head, which… well, I have to say it was a new one on both me and Steve.

And when his body turned up just where she said it would be – well, things didn't look good for Kristie.

Then she saw this other murder while Steve was questioning her, which at least proved her innocence – and it finally persuaded Steve to start taking her seriously.

So then all we had to do was find the real killer – a breeze when you have friends like mine.

No, not just friends – they're family now, in every sense of the word.

Speaking of which, I think the latest addition to that family needs freshening up and changing.

Jeez, how can something so tiny and adorable produce so much of something so icky…?

Good job I've eaten already…

Anyway, back to my very own X file. Turned out it was the station manager that did it (not the butler)

and I've got to admit he was real sneaky with setting up his alibi. 

He so nearly got away with it, but Mark had him nailed – and he's not in the least bit psychic.

Norman isn't either, no matter how much he insists that he is. But credit where credit is grudgingly due, he was right on that feminine side thing. One minute with CJ and he had that kid purring like a kitten.

I hate to admit it, but I wish Mr B were here now… boy, has this kid ever got a set of lungs…!

Aw jeez, CJ, gimme a break…!

30 November 1995

I got to do a lot of… uh… research for Mark on this latest case, though Amanda didn't see it that way…

Jeez, I'm starting to realise that LA is a real dangerous and deadly place…!

I never imagined writing a book could get you killed – and oh boy, what a book !

When Mark said he was buying a copy… well, you could have knocked Amanda down with a feather… he wanted it for some spicy recipes, but I don't think those were quite the recipes he had in mind…!!

I have to admit that since meeting Mark… well, one thing my life isn't is dull and boring.

I get to meet all kinds of weird and wonderful people. Like this radio talkshow host Rick Dees, who… well, let's just say, he's really opened my eyes to the wild and wacky side of LA.

I've just gotta hope that my mom didn't hear that last show, or else I have a lot of explaining to do…

I also got to meet Doc Bannerman, who could fumigate an entire city with one of his cigars.

All that aside, the guy is a genius when it comes down to isolating background noise and voices.

Without him, we would never have traced our main suspect to where he worked for that cab company.

Except then he got murdered too, so we had to start all over again.

Still, sometimes that's good, since you look at things from a totally different perspective.

See, that's what makes Mark Sloan such a great detective, and such an asset to the LAPD.

No matter how crazy it sounds, he's never afraid to come up with seemingly impossible theories.

And what sounds crazier than a dead person killing off those who stood in the way to a fortune…?

Or putting that little mix up in Vegas straight by marrying Amanda and Colin over Bosnian airspace…?

Like I said, life with Mark Sloan is never dull…

I'm still not so sure that Amanda didn't end up marrying that pilot, but… well, at least she's happy, 

which makes life so much easier for the rest of us...

And instead of being page boy, I was left holding the baby – literally. Not that I minded.

I can't believe how quickly this little fella is growing. And at least he didn't heave all over me, 

like he did with Uncle Steve… 

Yep, you've just got to love that kid…

3 December 1995

What with working so many double shifts, I don't get to see many of these daytime TV chat shows… and after this last week, I think I'll keep it that way.

And wouldn't you know it, but… yep, we got to solve yet another murder…!

A real doozie, too, though one that nearly got Mark killed. Again, what else is new…?

Even now, it's hard to believe that one of LA's queens of apple pie TV could be so devious – 

not to mention a real hazard to Mark's health.

I guess that faultless reputation was her life – and it cost Carl Burke his when he tried to ruin it.

Turned out our queen of clean not only dropped out of college, she also had an illegitimate child.

Burke knew this deep dark secret and tried to use it as blackmail, it got him killed. 

When Mark figured it out, it damn near got him killed too.

Still, he's fine now, thank God – although it'll be a while before we have chicken at Chez Sloan.

Speaking of which, you've really got to wonder at Norman sometimes. I mean, _really_ wonder…

Of all the soups to go for in that deli, he goes for the chicken… way to go, Mr B…

Still, Mark saw the funny side – even if I did have to convince him the chicken soup wasn't my idea…

I mean, as if I'd do anything like that…

And at least the soup itself won't go to waste… well, as mom always taught me, waste not want not…

Speaking of which, I'd better check the stove, I'm sure it's warmed through enough by now… 

Mmmm… tasty…

10 December 1995

Oh God, I don't think I'll ever be more embarrassed and humiliated as I was today.

I mean, I can spend all day up to my elbows in blood, gore and broken bones and not even bat an eyelid.

Same goes for seeing a dismembered, semi digested arm inside an equally dismembered shark

But put me on a boat, worse still one still in dock, for five minutes, and it's hello breakfast. And lunch. 

Lucky for me, I'd pretty much finished throwing up all over the place by the time we got to Steve's car,

though if I'd known how much he'd gloat about it, I'd have kept some back and redecorated his seats…

Nope, won't be going sailing anytime soon. Or watching Popeye on the old Toon channel.

Jaws either, come to that…

Talking of TV, this was like one of those daytime soaps that Amanda keeps nagging me to watch.

One dead husband, three indignant and totally uninformed wives – and three suspects for his murder.

So that's how I got to lose two meals and whatever street cred I'd managed to notch up with Steve.

And what's this obsession he has, telling me not to touch things and keep my hands in my pockets…? 

I mean, just because whenever we go to a crime scene, I tend to… yeah, okay, Steve, I'll give you that…

just enough with the Popeye jokes, okay…?

Yeah, I've been the butt of just about every sailing joke you can think of today… inevitably, I guess…

And that's how we found our killer – different brands of cigarette butts.

But when none of the wives' ( cleverly collected by yours truly) matched that dropped by the killer, 

and we couldn't trace the poison he'd used… well, for a while there, we were stumped.

Then Mark had one of those incredible hunches of his – one that, needless to say, almost got him killed.

Process of elimination, that's what Mark calls it. And when he found out it was a natural poison…

well, we finally had our man.

Looking back, I'm kinda kicking myself that I didn't think of it myself… guess I'm still kinda green…

Uh oh, let's not bring that up again…

Oh, and I had a date with Heather. Well, right up to the point when she mentioned the s-a-i-l-i-n-g.

Hey, I wonder if I can get her interested in tractors…?


End file.
